Molly: Multi Days of Entheogens: Part 3

Molly

Date: 2025.11.07

Dose: 100mg; 120mg; 150mg (redosed every few hours)

Ingestion Method: oral

We couldn’t take any Molly onto the ship, which was really a shame because I think it would have been the most conducive substance for the setting for me. But being there made us want to do it so we did some after we returned home.

While acid was more well tolerated around large crowds than the 2-cb for me, I still prefer all psychedelics in solitude or a small intimate setting. There were enjoyable aspects to doing it there, but it also felt like a distraction from the trip. All of the stimulation surrounding me also kept me feeling more tethered to the earth. I really value the self-decimation via introspection that comes through doing psychedelics and the closed eye visual journeying to other universes, and neither of these things were very possible in a large crowd.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/f99dff_ac058665e5c64d7d9b9b115477c59b0e/360p/mp4/file.mp4

I don’t have much to report on the Molly experience. It’s similar each time. I often begin with a dose of 80mg since I am quite small, but given the previous use of entheogens this week I decided to start my dose at 100mg which felt quite perfect. I dose everything intuitively each time.

I’m very sentimental and it makes me verbalize it more. I thoroughly enjoy the feeling of nystagmus on molly and the overwhelming feeling of pleasure and euphoria.

One aspect of my personality well-defined by a system created by my dear friend Rob called Expanded Instincts (read more on his website here: https://www.attitudinalpsyche.com/enneagram/expanded-instincts/bonding/ ) which categorizes my felt experience in the interpersonal realm as internalizing meaning and placing the significance of bonds on an inner altar.

Because of this value placed on the bonding instinct in the interpersonal realm, I am deeply sentimental and I feel most alive in interpersonal when replaying moments of significance with those I love and weaving stories about their meaning, about our meaning to each other.

What can hurt me most deeply in this realm is when a memory I’ve ascribed positive association and deep meaning to is shown to be false. Missing a detail about the meaning of a moment, one which transforms it completely, is the most decimating feeling to me. I once wrote:

“And suddenly the VCR rewinds itself and finds that moment again, the one I have treasured, the one that meant I was cherished, but it looks different, because I now see.

And I realize, the part I cannot stand, isn’t the unraveling… people come and go, it’s the way of things… and sad farewells are their own kind of sweet because sadness means it meant something. Leave, I’ll form the grief into poetry. The vile part is having this memory spoiled… Feeling like that’s ripped from me.”

But sometimes, like this time, a detail is added which I didn’t know about which makes the moment even more luscious to revisit.

Since I so love revisiting pinnacle moments of the past I often bring them up when we are on molly. I travel back to the days we first met and invite him to join me. I ask him things about what he thought of me, now allowing the story I wove to be added to. Inviting his perspective to join with mine in my memory of this beautiful time in the history of us. Since in this system interpersonal is last for me, I don’t often share my thoughts with others about the meaning of our relationship and how much I treasure it. I appreciate that Molly helps me be more verbal and inclusive about this rather than just imagining dancing together across the universe and never saying so.

I ask Ian what his initial thoughts were of me and he says he was a bit concerned about me being a business owner. I owned a wellness center when we met and he’d been previously been with a very ambitious woman and he felt that it had caused some issues in their relationship. But he was relieved to find out that I was truly just a hippie unwilling to work a 9-5 and that my business ownership was more a product of wanting to be uncaged and free than tethered to a career.

This detail of the formation of our relationship made my heart swell. An additional token of meaning to add to my reliquary of our love. 🤍

Here’s a piece I made once as a symbol of the meaning of our relationship :

I tried ketamine as well for the first time as I was coming down. It honestly didn’t feel that different from my usual Molly come downs and was hard to pick out what was specific to the ketamine. I usually have these flashes of weird thoughts that I can’t verbalize when coming down from Molly and this was similar except they all kept revolving around the beach and they all looked had this kind of lo-fi look to them.

We chose to do these substances in this specific order intentionally. When planning multiple days of entheogen use it’s best to start with 2-cb as it doesn’t really cause a “hangover” and it doesn’t deplete receptors so you can still successfully use other things in subsequent days.

LSD causes some depletion and we brought enough to double our dose in case we wanted to use it an additional night.

Molly depletes serotonin quite completely so it should be done last. As I’ve mentioned before I also take NAC and 5-htp for a week after to help with restoration and recovery.

This schedule seemed to work quite well for us and we had a beautiful week. ✨