Applesauce Universe Pt. II

A Trip Report of Ingesting 1.5-2 grams of A.P.E. Over Several Months: The Insights

Since I was young, even in middle school when it seemed required for popularity, I could never really stomach trends. I can admire from afar your desire & ability to wield them to create a sense of community, but I cannot join you. They instill some visceral existential fear in me… that I may get lost in a sea of anonymity. Driving through cookie cutter neighborhoods in the suburbs nearly sends me into a panic every time. My chest tightens and I feel the urge to run.

As indicated in previous posts, I consistently receive messaging from the medicine about individuality. That we are all interconnected, yes, but that we were given the incredible gift to incarnate separately as unique expressions. Whole unto ourselves & parts of a whole.

One such message I received in Applesauce Universe was about our aesthetic soul signatures. There are a collection of things which tell the story of the essence of you in combination. Lines, shapes, (maybe some circles, but personally the mushrooms tell me I’m a bit more angular), colors & the way they blend and contrast alongside each other…They’re likely not what you’d expect. But when you discover them you’ll know.

I am a golden hue and a blue grey like my bedding … but the way they express themselves on a whelk shell. Plus lines… mostly the vertical ones, as seen in this picture in my house plus pickets on sand dunes…Plus this very pale pink stripe on my favorite black pajamas; coupled with the way the very thin and soft modal fabric feels… these pajamas are all at once soft, thin, feminine, delicate… stark, sharp, contrasting. And finally… and this is most random… this card my mom had made when I was little that she’d use when I gave someone a present as the tag. It’s business card sized (cropped to remove my maiden name) jumped into my mind as part of the expression of what is me on a soul level and I went to dig out the last remaining one from my keepsake trunk in the loft.

Here’s something I wrote about this the day after it was revealed to me: Your soul has an aesthetic imprint that is all your own and unlike any other in the universe. You are whole unto yourself and can't be replicated, and you are woven into the fabric of the universe in which your cells and the cells of galaxies are formed of sacred geometry. You are both separate; a unique galaxy within your aura, and connected to everything. If you look within yourself you can find a collection of shapes, textures, and colors which are the expression of you. While others are drawing from the same pool of elements, no one is choosing all of the same ones or choosing to arrange them in such a way as you.

🪞découvrir 🪞

There was something too about the space between piano keys. When you press down on one it exposes a vertical space between its slick ivory top and that of the neighboring key. I can’t represent this treasure in much more than imagery. The bones of fingers as they play them… We don’t have sufficient language on this plane to translate it. And there’s so much here… (See piece below) it connects as well to the purpose of the soft ambient tracks with long lingering notes and pauses… the space between. It can be left empty. Or it can be filled with everything.

Next time we will journey to the Genesis point of Applesauce Universe. I found it at the end because lessons aren’t linear just as time isn’t.

In the meantime I’ll leave you with one more treasure from Applesauce Universe. I discovered The Song of My Soul. Have you heard yours? After the trip where I found it I listened on repeat and bawled for an entire day. In its repetition I hear persistence. Love that endures and keeps trying. I hear the sweet sighs of joy and pleasure; of torturous grief. Once heard I knew it would be okay if I died, because something of me would remain.

https://youtu.be/Uh0Lz1Nw16k?si=S2sKDwLrLiXyaozo